Anytime we find ourselves predominatly wanting to dictate and control others is a good time to step back and ask ourselves why? Why do we want to be in charge? Why do we want to be in control so much? Why is it necessary for us to “call the shots” instead of allowing others to have an input?
We can rationalise our need and tendencies for control by telling ourselves that, “if I don’t do it then it won’t get done, or people don’t do it properly, or it’s because I care and they need my help”. All these things at face value may be the truth, but what we set in motion in our lives when we continually have to have control, in it’s fullest form is not pretty, and can even drive those people we love the most away.
The dictionary definition of control is: the power to influence, direct and determine people’s behaviour or the course of events. It is to sway, command, dominate, and rule.
Often when we seek to be in control we limit others ability to grow, to have a voice, to determine their own course, and to find their own calling, purpose and potential in God. As parents or leaders we can think we are helping, but if the “guidance” we offer is too heavy handed and constant we will limit and even suffocate others and stifle what God wants to do in their lives.
Today, take a look at your behaviour; your attitudes, actions, speech, and the way you treat others, and consider whether you are in actual fact being controlling, and if so why? Honestly ask God and those close to you if you are being a control freak, and be prepared to hear the answer. Because if we do keep controlling others eventually those we dictate to will either shrivel up under our heavy handedness or they’ll find a means to escape, seeking freedom away from our control and they may never look back.
Instead let’s follow God’s way and wisdom in how to relate to others and seek to ”get along with each other and learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common.” (1 Corinthians 1:10)
Prayer: Lord please help me to be honest about whether I am controlling, and why I find the need to be in charge if I am. Help me instead to trust you to take the lead, and to make things work out for the best. In Jesus name Amen.