Comparison- a consideration or estimate of the similarities or differences between two things or people.
The danger of comparisons are that they are never fair. Primarily because each one of us is a unique individual with circumstances, characteristics, life events, health advantages or disadvantages, responsibilities, and God’s individual plan for our life that is vastly different from anyone else’s.
By comparing or allowing ourselves to be compared to someone or something else we negate the very things that make us unique. Rarely are any of us are on the same playing field, or have walked the same journey up until this point. In comparing we demand that we become like those we compare ourselves to which inevitably leads to feelings of diminished self worth or the tendency to become judgmental and harsh of others.
People’s so called perfection is an illusion. What we see or what others allow us to see is just a snapshot of their lives. It can be the truth, but not the whole truth. Perhaps if we knew everyone’s whole truths we wouldn’t feel so inadequate or feel like a failure in comparison. Most people, unless they are in a close honest relationship with someone, will only allow other people to see their best self on any give day, post on social media or the mask they choose to wear. Therefore we can actually be comparing ourselves to a carefully marketed and crafted image of “perfection” that is not real.
Our kids often say when they feel they’ve experienced an injustice that, “its not fair”. In actual fact life is not fair. Each one of us is born with looks, skills, social advantages or disadvantages, family and financial demographics, life events and different upbringings that when put on the playing field of life reflect a very uneven playing field. Some have a definite advantage, others have disadvantages and comparing ourselves or others will only cause damage to self esteem and relationships.
When we don’t allow comparisons we are far more likely to cheer one another on, to keep our focus and to make lasting friendships and healthy relationship choices. We step away from competition and choose to spur both ourselves and others on.
The only person we should ever compare ourselves to is ourselves and where we’d like to be in the future. Then we can structure our goals and strategies accordingly.
We can compare ourselves on how far we’ve come and honestly analyse where we are positioned in relation to our unique dreams and goals. This helps us to celebrate our wins, to stay on track, to assess any obstacles and to adjust our lives where necessary so we can be our best.
Today instead of falling into the comparison trap or allowing anyone to compare you to others, focus on self improvement and celebrating who you are. Allow some time to dream, talk to God about your life and then set some SMART goals.
Goals that are: Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed. Prayerfully build into your week strategies that enhance and build into these goals and that will encourage you in who you are, where you are going and in the dreams God has placed in your heart.
And be wise and gather around you those people who will neither compare or diminish you as the unique individual you are, but instead will offer their support, love and encouragement along the way.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, Gods special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” (1Peter 2:9)
“May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” ( Psalm 20:4)
“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” (Proverbs 21:5)
Prayer: Lord thank you that I am both unique and special in your sight and that I don’t need to compare or allow myself to be placed in comparison against others which only causes rivalry, diminished self esteem and judgement. Please help me to see myself as you see me and to be both real and honest with both myself and others as I continue to grow to become all that you created me to be. In Jesus name Amen