The Character-Building Seasons
Recently, one of our sons was going through what I’d call a real character-building season. He’s at university, pouring his energy into both his studies and his sport, striving to break through to the next level of performance. At the same time, he’s been searching for a part-time job but has been feeling the pinch of not having enough income.
Meanwhile, several of our daughters (for those who don’t know, we have six kids!) were navigating their own challenges—relationship issues and work stressors that left them feeling overwhelmed.
I love our kids. They’re incredible, talented, and beautiful humans who I’m extremely proud of. As a parent, I naturally want to be there for them in whatever way I can. Yet, as I was praying about each one of them—especially those having a hard time—I felt like God was whispering, “Don’t worry. I’m working, and I am forging some things in them. They’re stronger than you think.”
In other words, “Hands off, Mumma. Pray, support, and encourage, but let Me work through this. I’m building something great in the midst of their struggles, and they’ll come out on the other side stronger and with a deeper understanding of Me.”
The Parable of the Butterfly: Strength Through Struggle
This whole situation reminded me of the parable of the butterfly. A young boy found a butterfly cocoon and brought it inside to observe. After some time, he watched as the butterfly struggled to break free from its confinement. It created a small hole, but its body was too large to get through. Exhausted, it became still.
Wanting to help, the boy took a pair of scissors and snipped a small slit in the cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily, but its wings were underdeveloped and crumpled. The boy expected it to take flight, but it couldn’t. Instead, it could only drag its weak, fragile body along the ground.
What the boy didn’t know was that the butterfly needed the struggle to gain strength and fill its wings with blood. The struggle was an essential part of its development, preparing it for flight. By intervening, the boy unintentionally hindered the butterfly’s growth.
This story is such a clear picture of how, in our eagerness to help, we can sometimes stunt the development of those we care about. It takes wisdom and discernment to know when to step in and when to step back and let God work through their struggles. The butterfly needed to fight its way out of that cocoon so it could soar.
Gold Refined by Fire
Similarly, Peter in the Bible uses the gold-refining process as a metaphor for how God works in our lives. Fire tests and purifies gold by heating it until impurities rise to the surface and can be removed. What’s left is pure 24-karat gold, precious and valuable.
This refining process is often uncomfortable, and so are the struggles and challenges we face. But just like fire purifies gold, these difficult moments refine us, drawing out our strengths, purifying our character, and making us more like the people God designed us to be
Learning to Trust God’s Timing and Process
It’s tempting to want to both have a smooth the path for ourselves as well as our loved ones, but often the best thing we can do is wait, pray, and trust. Just like the butterfly needs to wrestle its way out of the cocoon to build strength, and just like gold needs the heat of fire to be purified, we too need to allow the process to unfold on God’s terms and His timeline.
We can cheer from the sidelines, offering encouragement and support, but ultimately we need to let God’s purposes run their course.
The moral of the story? It’s often the tough times, the challenges, the delays, and the struggles that develop our strengths, shape our character, and refine our purpose. God’s at work in the midst of these difficulties, forging something truly beautiful and strong within us and others.
So when you’re facing struggles or watching loved ones go through their own, remember: God is at work. Nothing is ever wasted if you learn from it and the struggle is not wasted. It’s in these moments that God's refining, strengthening, and preparing you for something greater. Trust His process and find peace in knowing that, just like the butterfly emerging from its cocoon and gold being purified in the fire, you will come out stronger and more radiant on the other side.
So let’s trust Him, even when it’s hard, and let the process unfold. He’s got you, and He’s got those you care about, too.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 NIV)
Prayer: Lord thank you for being with me through every season. Please help me to remember that you are working in ways I cannot see, forging character and strength within me and those I love. Please give me patience and discernment to see your hand at work and that in everything You are shaping me into the person You've called me to be. In Jesus' name, Amen.